Monday, March 28, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
How do I model accountability for my team?
• Use accountable language instead of victim language.
• When you make a mistake or you contribute to a project that doesn’t achieve desired results, share what you could have done differently, and how you will use the experience to improve future results.
• Share gravity issues (those issues over which you have no control, such as budgets) with your team, and talk about how you can work within those constraints.
• Take accountability for the results of your team.
• Incorporate these principles into performance evaluations and recognition programs to demonstrate their importance.
Adapted from Ohio State program
• When you make a mistake or you contribute to a project that doesn’t achieve desired results, share what you could have done differently, and how you will use the experience to improve future results.
• Share gravity issues (those issues over which you have no control, such as budgets) with your team, and talk about how you can work within those constraints.
• Take accountability for the results of your team.
• Incorporate these principles into performance evaluations and recognition programs to demonstrate their importance.
Adapted from Ohio State program
Monday, March 21, 2011
When Anger Gets the Best of Us
Celebrities have the burden of sometimes revealing their flaws to the world. This quarterback is experiencing a moment of low emotional intelligence. His anger masks his embarrassment. If he was in touch with his feelings, he could have communicated more authentically and skillfully. He would have managed his feelings without reacting defensively (which made a bad situation worse).
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Saying “no” --positively
Most of the time we are articulate, composed and pleasant. But lack of sleep, stress, or emotional triggers can lead to a poor choice of words. Even if we’re the king or queen of tact, it’s always great to practice for stellar customer service responses. My customer service workshop offers many great exercises. We practice key principles in refocusing difficult interactions and avoiding angry escalations.
Instructions: Replace the phrase in the left column with a more positive phrase in the right column.
Negative Phrase Positive Replacement
1. No.
2. It’s not our policy.
3. That’s not my job
4. It’s not my fault.
5. Calm down.
6. I’m busy right now.
7. Call me back later.
8. I don’t know.
9. The computer lost your info.
10. You’re wrong.
11. You’ll have to read the policy.
12. Most people know this.
© 2011 Laura Lewis-Barr all rights reserved
Instructions: Replace the phrase in the left column with a more positive phrase in the right column.
Negative Phrase Positive Replacement
1. No.
2. It’s not our policy.
3. That’s not my job
4. It’s not my fault.
5. Calm down.
6. I’m busy right now.
7. Call me back later.
8. I don’t know.
9. The computer lost your info.
10. You’re wrong.
11. You’ll have to read the policy.
12. Most people know this.
© 2011 Laura Lewis-Barr all rights reserved
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Building Blocks of Motivation
Researchers from Maslow to Pink to Kuhn come to the same conclusions about motivation. Here's my graphic to remember their main points. I'd love to talk with your group about ways to keep our workplaces motivating!
© 2011 Laura Lewis-Barr all rights reserved
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Daniel Goleman on EI--NY Times article
A sad report here but something we can change.... You can read the entire article here.
As children grow ever smarter in IQ, their emotional intelligence is on the decline. Perhaps the most disturbing single piece of data comes from a massive survey of parents and teachers that shows the present generation of children to be more emotionally troubled than the last. On average, children are growing more lonely and depressed, more angry and unruly, more nervous and prone to worry, more impulsive and aggressive.
Two random samples of American children, age seven to sixteen, were evaluated by their parents and teachers--adults who knew them well. The first group was assessed in the mid-1970s, and a comparable group was surveyed in the late 1980s. Over that decade and a half there was a steady worsening of children's emotional intelligence. Although poorer children started out at a lower level on average, the rate of decline was the same across all economic groups--as steep in the wealthiest suburbs as in the poorest inner-city slum.
Dr. Thomas Achenbach, the University of Vermont psychologist who did these studies--and who has collaborated with colleagues on similar assessments in other nations--tells me that the decline in children's basic emotional competencies seems to be worldwide. The most telling signs of this are seen in rising rates among young people of problems such as despair, alienation, drug abuse, crime and violence, depression or eating disorders, unwanted pregnancies, bullying, and dropping out of school.
What this portends for the workplace is quite troubling: growing deficiencies among workers in emotional intelligence, particularly among those newest to the job. Most of the children that Achenbach studied in the late 1980s will be in their twenties by the year 2000. The generation that is falling behind in emotional intelligence is entering the workforce today.
As children grow ever smarter in IQ, their emotional intelligence is on the decline. Perhaps the most disturbing single piece of data comes from a massive survey of parents and teachers that shows the present generation of children to be more emotionally troubled than the last. On average, children are growing more lonely and depressed, more angry and unruly, more nervous and prone to worry, more impulsive and aggressive.
Two random samples of American children, age seven to sixteen, were evaluated by their parents and teachers--adults who knew them well. The first group was assessed in the mid-1970s, and a comparable group was surveyed in the late 1980s. Over that decade and a half there was a steady worsening of children's emotional intelligence. Although poorer children started out at a lower level on average, the rate of decline was the same across all economic groups--as steep in the wealthiest suburbs as in the poorest inner-city slum.
Dr. Thomas Achenbach, the University of Vermont psychologist who did these studies--and who has collaborated with colleagues on similar assessments in other nations--tells me that the decline in children's basic emotional competencies seems to be worldwide. The most telling signs of this are seen in rising rates among young people of problems such as despair, alienation, drug abuse, crime and violence, depression or eating disorders, unwanted pregnancies, bullying, and dropping out of school.
What this portends for the workplace is quite troubling: growing deficiencies among workers in emotional intelligence, particularly among those newest to the job. Most of the children that Achenbach studied in the late 1980s will be in their twenties by the year 2000. The generation that is falling behind in emotional intelligence is entering the workforce today.
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