Are we Leveraging our Time Well?

“If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask. For once I know the proper question, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes.”

—Albert Einstein

29 Semi-Productive Things I Do Online When I’m Trying to Avoid Real Work

A really helpful list! Here it is.

Research on Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace

This is a bit technical but even reading the abstract is reassuring--the empirical evidence is showing that EI training can make a big difference in workplace skills.

http://www.unh.edu/emotional_intelligence/ei%20Reprints/EIreprints%20Popular.htm

Two Parts Optimism+One Part Pessimism=A Hard Working Worrier

Have you heard the old maxim: The best way to learn material is to teach it? One great benefit of teaching is that I constantly improve my own “soft” skills as I share basic principals and proven techniques with my classes. Recently, I had a small epiphany as I reviewed my materials for an optimism workshop.

Research by Dr. Martin Seligman has identified 3 types of thought patterns of optimists and pessimists. Optimists see failures as:
1. temporary,
2. isolated events,
3. that they can change through effort.

A pessimist sees the opposite: successes are viewed as temporary, isolated, and lucky (i.e. not related to their effort).

A pessimist sees failures or setbacks as:
1. Permanent (will never end)
2. Pervasive (always happening)
3. Unrelated to any effort exerted.

I’ve always seen myself as exceedingly optimistic. But this morning, as I practiced some of the exercises I would give my participants, I was surprised to find that only some of my thinking is optimistic.

When I lost a job several years ago, I plunged into a job search with zeal and excitement. I have always had an extremely high “locus of control,” i.e. I see my efforts as directly impacting my success. I work hard and expect good things to happen. That’s the “utilizes effort” element of optimistic thought patterns ( #3). But sometimes when things go wrong (as happened several weeks ago when someone hacked into my website), I can plunge myself into doomsday feelings of “this will never get fixed,” a negative thought pattern favored by pessimists (#1 above).

I’m happy to see that I have an optimistic viewpoint for 2 of the 3 elements Seligman describes. But while my belief in my own efforts keeps me moving forward, my fear-based thoughts (of never-ending catastrophes) often cause me harmful anxiety.

What is your unique blend of pessimism vs. optimism?
Do you see setbacks as temporary or permanent?
Do you see obstacles as isolated events or as the standard, (pervasive) state of your life?
Do you see success as a lucky break or as the result of effort?

© 2009 Laura Lewis-Barr all rights reserved

Training in emotional intelligence actually works.

Given the previous research results, this isn't surprising --but still good as a reminder. Read the article here.

Surprise! Daydreaming Really Works the Brain.

That's great news to all of us! Read article here.

Skills from the Theatre for the Workplace--Observing Nonverbals

When I moved from working in the theatre to working in an office, I was astounded by the difference in attitudes and norms. My new organization and the workplaces of my clients seemed filled with unhappiness and dysfunction. Could I use my theatre training to help transform the malaise I saw everywhere?

While my clients constantly sought to improve their competitive advantage, I was amazed to see that they often ignored the most glaring personnel challenges. Companies were spending thousands of dollars streamlining their processes through Six Sigma or Lean programs. They analyzed their shop floor data and hunted for the slightest area to refine. But the most vital data—the continuous signals coming from their staff—was often ignored.

At her desk, Jayne scowls. Her co-workers may gossip, “That’s just Jayne.” But why is she scowling? What message is Jayne sending (or trying to hide)?

In the theatre, we paid close attention to all types of communication. We recognized that each verbal or nonverbal expression was filled with important information. Our work centered on sending clear messages and decoding nonverbal signals. Why were companies ignoring these crucial skills?

At work, we disregard the scowl. We say, “It’s none of our business.” We don’t want to insult Jayne. Maybe she’s just having a bad day. Anyway, what could we say?

When we ignore nonverbals, we miss clues that reveal levels of engagement in a project or team. We miss feedback about effective or ineffective procedures. We miss developing our teams and building trust or even community.

If Ann’s anger at Marge is never resolved (or even acknowledged), it doesn’t disappear. Our emotional upsets will emerge later in team meetings, office gossip, or mysterious difficulties that spontaneously erupt. Mislaid papers, misunderstandings that lead to team confusion, and even (seemingly) outside obstacles can result from communication failures from unresolved emotions.

Why don’t we acknowledge the large emotional elephant in the cubicle? Because we don’t know what to say or do. Too many of us are afraid of emotions and convinced that there is no way to communicate safely and effectively when emotions are acknowledged.

But there are proven best practices to ensure safe, effective communication, even when emotions are powerfully in play. These techniques include “I statements,” active listening, and understanding the difference between assertive vs. aggressive dialogue.

Armed with these methods, we can courageously observe and acknowledge any anger or unhappiness in our coworkers or ourselves. Observing our emotions is the first critical step. Once acknowledged, we can decipher the message of our feelings. We can then begin to compassionately admit the emotional undercurrent (subtext) of our daily interactions. We can use this ready source of feedback to make our workplaces happier and healthier.

What is Positive Psychology?

Check out this interesting video that discusses positive psychology. We CAN learn to change our thinking and be happier.

A Workplace Secret Weapon

Take this workplace challenge: everyday take a 20-30 minute break to walk or run (preferably outside, especially if you have some green and birds nearby). For this experiment, walk in silence without headphones or talking companion.

Please report back on your experiences. There are some incredible benefits to this practice. We’d love to hear if you’ve had the same (wonderful) outcomes from these daily, physical, silent, (preferably outdoor) breaks.

Motivation for the Mundance Task

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the author of “Flow,” discusses how highly productive people keep themselves motivated to do mundane tasks. Consider mowing the lawn. Have you experimented with different patterns, or tried to time yourself or challenge yourself to be as efficient as possible? By making such tasks more difficult (and game-like), we enjoy them more and are more likely to enter (according the Csikszentmihalyi) the enjoyable state of “flow.”

Have you tried to do this at work? Alfie Kohn, author of “Punished by Rewards,” says that allowing ourselves (or our staff) to manipulate HOW a task is completed can help us (them) enjoy the task more, and thus be more motivated, even when the particular task is dull.

Struggling with a Problem? Take a Break!

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Incubation is one of the 4 proposed stages of creativity: preparation, incubation, illumination, and verification. Incubation is defined as a process of unconscious recombination of thought elements that were stimulated through conscious work at one point in time, resulting in novel ideas at some later point in time.

The experience of leaving a problem for a period of time, then finding the difficulty evaporates on returning to the problem, or even more striking, that the solution "comes out of the blue", when thinking about something else, is widespread. Many guides to effective thinking and problem solving advise the reader to set problems aside for a time.

So take that break or even better, take the nap. You'll not only feel better, but you'll thinking will clarify and the answer WILL come!

Maslow and Motivation

If I offered you $100 to read an article more intently, would it really make a difference in your actions? It would be difficult to measure this because I've asked for a change in your attitude or motivation. On the other hand, if I offered you $100 to proofread this article without missing anything, I may affect your “motivation” on this measurable goal-but researchers say this change won't last long. Eventually, financial incentives wear off and can even reduce motivation! (See Alfie Kohn's “Punished by Rewards.”)

Maslow's Hierarchy can help us understand current research on motivation. Psychologists have demonstrated that after basic needs are met (the lower two steps of the Hierarchy), the top three steps of the pyramid are needed to motivate workers. For the unemployed or someone in a position that doesn't pay enough to meet his/her needs--money could be the primary focus (and motivator). But once a worker is making enough money to satisfy their needs, raises and bonuses no longer motivate.

Does this seem untrue? Consider these examples:

While pay raises may appear to motivate workers, these are more likely tied to esteem needs. How many times have you witnessed employees become dissatisfied with their salary only after they discover a colleague's pay?

True story: a nurse told me that her supervisor offered her a bonus if she would take on a special project. “Bonnie” said that she felt insulted by the offer and said no. Have you ever had this experience? (I have.) Was it the amount of money she was offered? What caused her to feel insulted?

I think my client was offended because she really didn't need more money. Bonnie was higher up on Maslow's scale and she wanted that recognized. Imagine if I offered you a sleeping bag, saying that I wanted to make sure you were warm during these winter months. Instead of accepting the bag with gratitude, you would probably be insulted and ask yourself, “Why does Laura think that I need help keeping warm in the winter? I have enough resources to keep myself warm.” If you have a home and enough money for heat, my offer misconstrues your reality and affronts your self-esteem. (On the other hand, if I said I had an extra sleeping bag that you might want to use camping, you may happily accept the gift).

Bonnie continued her story saying that years later, a new supervisor asked her to do the same project. This manager didn't offer her any extra pay but appealed to Bonnie's skills, her chance to help the team, and her ability to handle a thorny challenge. The manager appealed to two proven motivators on Maslow's Hierarchy-to feel a sense of belonging, (third level) and to be recognized as having skills and abilities (fourth). Bonnie accepted the new duty but as she finished the story, she was shaking her head. “I feel like a dope because I could have done the same work and gotten a little extra money for it!” But Bonnie received more than money, which is why she said yes the second time.

Maslow's Hierarchy reminds us that the “soft” needs of self-actualization (doing work for its own sake because we love the work), self-esteem, and love/community, are much stronger motivators than “hard” currency.

The Power of Play at Work

Imagine. Fun at work and higher productivity!

The Power of Play

We all know how invigorating play is to our energy levels. Brain researchers are also finding that play helps keep our brains healthy. Play is a natural and needed part of life. How might we bring more play into our workplaces? More on that tomorrow. For today, check out this incredible photo shoot narrated by Stuart Brown, a physician and clinical researcher who founded the National Institute for Play.

Colin Powell's 13 Rules for Life (and Leadership)

You can see from this list why Colin Powell has been so successful and beloved.

Colin Powell's 13 Rules of Life from My American Journey (Random House).

1. It ain't as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning.
2. Get mad, and then get over it.
3. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.
4. It can be done!
5. Be careful what you choose. You may get it.
6. Don't let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision.
7. You can't make someone else's choices. You shouldn't let someone else make yours.
8. Check small things.
9. Share credit.
10. Remain calm. Be kind.
11. Have a vision. Be demanding.
12. Don't take counsel of your fears or naysayers.
13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.

The Power of our Thoughts

Look at the following list of negative thought patterns (from Dr Daniel Amen’s Change Your Brain, Change Your Life). Dr. Amen advocates killing these ANT's (automatic negative thoughts). Watch yourself today and see if you find ANTS crawling around your mind.

1.All or nothing thinking: thoughts are all good or all bad.
2.Always thinking: using words like always, never, every one, every time. --I never seem to do things right.
3.Focusing on the negative: only seeing bad in situation.
4.Fortune telling: predicting the worst possible outcome.
5.Mind reading: thinking you know what another person is thinking.
6.Thinking with feelings: believing negative feelings without questioning them.
7.Guilt beatings: should, must, ought or have to.
8.Labeling: attaching negative labels.
9.Blame: blaming someone else for your problems.

See if you can develop an internal anteater to hunt down and devour the negative thoughts that are ruining your life. What is this like for you?

The Inner World

I sit. I wait. I recharge.

But instead of basking in the sunshine like Wall-e (in his namesake movie), I bask in silence. I sit and wait. New ideas will flow in-eventually. I know this process well.

But this morning, after a hectic week, my recharging is taking longer and I'm slow to access new insights. My psyche is “processing” the week but I can't yet hear my intuitive voice. Vast stores of information are hidden from me, just outside my consciousness.

So I sit. I wait. My mind wanders or sits blank. I'm “sharpening my saw,” (a la Stephen Covey). It feels great and I know this “idle” time will pay large dividends in future creativity and insights.

I stare at a beautiful pine tree. I am here, now. The tree speaks of strength and patience and the spring approaching. I notice the branches waving in the wind and the gray sky. I hear my chimes and birds. I feel grateful for this moment as I draw near my soul.

How do you recharge?

The Power of Play

Are you getting enough recreation (re-creation) in your life? At work and at home, play restores us and helps us think creatively. Here’s more on how play changes our brains and helps us learn flexibility and adapt to changes in our environment.

A Powerful Morbid Question

I’ve recently seen plays and movies focused on our mortality (Our Town, Synechode--New York). These artworks ask us to ponder our choices because, no matter how long we live, our time is limited. Natasha Richardson’s terrible accident has also pushed this point forward in me.

While it may seem morbid, a classic coaching question can help us locate the essential in our life: If you only had 6 months to live, what would you change about your life?

Are you living the life you most desire?

I wish you many healthy, happy years to come but the question is still useful …..what would you change if you only had 6 years, 6 months, or 6 days?

Healthy vs. Neurotic Suffering

I'm in the midst of a mid-life renaissance. After years of frantic feelings, dashed dreams, and mystifying mishaps from without and within, I finally feel "in flow." This does not mean that life is easy. I struggle against my fears every day. But I sense a difference between the old struggle and this one. My previous life was filled with a "flaying around." I was constantly striving to achieve against endless obstacles. Today, I still have goals but they seem given, not chosen. When I finally surrendered my cherished dreams (to win the Pulitzer or become a famous theatre director), I was reborn to a new life, without my Ego's agendas. Suddenly, instead of throwing myself against metaphorical brick walls, new doorways opened. I felt like a teenager, suddenly awash in thrilling challenges that tested my abilities.

Before, my mind obsessively circled my fears. Today, I still suffer from fear but now, instead of constant worrying, I step into the rapids and let both fear and excitement wash over me. Instead of trying to control the waves--I'm riding them. Now, each moment both lingers and rushes past filled with millions of fresh and intoxicating ideas. I feel pulled toward a mysterious destiny that I still don't understand-- but trust more and more. I find that the great Taoist sayings are true: more gets done when we surrender and let ourselves be carried by our unique Fate.

How do you deal with worry and fear?