It’s embarrassing to admit but I sometimes find myself
searching for a magic bullet to teach emotional intelligence. I keep searching for that one perfect example
or exercise to transform myself and my participants.
I fall into this trap because developing emotional
intelligence is based on very basic everyday activities. Can these simple actions really transform our
lives? Yes! In the same way that doing small stretches
everyday changes the body.
Today I’m reminding myself:
while developing EI is often challenging and the work of a lifetime, it
isn’t based on complex knowledge.
We can develop our emotional intelligence everyday through
Listening Deeply
--- to the words of others (develop empathy) and to our inner dialogue and our
body’s sensations (self-awareness).
Reflecting—on our
actions, words, triggers (to understand our patterns of behavior).
Journaling and/or Talking with others about our
emotions– to bridge the divide between what our limbic (emotional brain) knows
and what our “higher” thinking cortex knows (gaining the wisdom hidden in
emotions).
Practicing New
Thoughts and Behaviors and continuing to Listen, Reflect, and Journal/Talk
to transform our patterns of behavior.