Training 4 Breakthroughs: July 2018

Friday, July 27, 2018

Haiku at work

I submitted the report by noon

per your commands --

you didn’t stipulate a smile.

Communication is complicated! Nonverbals override verbal messages every time.

© 2018 Laura Lewis-Barr all rights reserved

Thursday, July 26, 2018

Hidden and Seen -- Shakespeare at work: lessons from the bard on emotional intelligence and communication.

2. Hidden and Seen

HAMLET: (to his mother the Queen) I shall in all my best obey you madam.

KING: Why, ‘tis a loving and a fair reply.

Hamlet Act 1 scene 2

Hamlet is enraged with his mother, the Queen. But neither his uncle, the new king, or his mother acknowledge his curt and petulant replies. They both act as if Hamlet is content with the new realities -- a new king and royal marriage. Are they clueless, or do they think their pretense will persuade Hamlet to accept the rapid changes?

I’ve witnessed similar denial at the workplace. Employees pay lip service to the new corporate directives but even a visitor like me can see their disdain. If we ignore the tone of voice or facial expressions in a conversation we will likely miss the real message.

HAMLET: But I have that within which passes show;

Hamlet Act 1 scene 2

Here Hamlet tells his mother that his grief is beyond what she can see. His entire speech is a warning against judging outward appearances that can be faked. Hamlet understands the difference between his inner truth and what he shows the world. To know our rage, fear, or sadness is one aspect of emotional intelligence. To know how and when to express our truth is another part of EI.

from the upcoming book Shakespeare at work: lessons from the bard on emotional intelligence and communication.

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Empathy, discovering another person's perspective.

When we listen well and slow down, discovering another person's deeper truth can feel like a sudden shock. Just like seeing the actual color of these camels. (Not black).

Shakespeare at work: lessons from the bard on emotional intelligence and communication.

1. Thinking of Ghosts

HORATIO (speaking to the Ghost): What art thou that usurp’st this time of night?

Hamlet Act 1 scene 1

As a corporate trainer, I visit many different companies and often sense “ghosts” in the room. These may be the lingering effects of former bosses or even policies that bolster or torment my participants.

Even more influential are the ghosts of previous, unresolved conflicts within the organization. Morale and learning are both affected by these ghosts that linger in the minds of my participants. As each grapples with these ghosts, they are not fully present to our workshop or each other.

MARCELLUS: Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

Hamlet Act 1 scene 4

Ghosts remain when “something is rotten,” Just as Hamlet is tasked to expose hidden crimes, we too can unearth the offenses that corrupt our personal and professional lives. Once we learn the skills to have the “difficult conversation,” we can stop procrastinating (like Hamlet) and begin the hard work of reconciliation. We can learn the most effective ways to listen, speak, and manage our emotions. (For suggestions on communication and emotional intelligence books and workshops see the appendix.)

© 2018 Laura Lewis-Barr all rights reserved