Hidden and Seen -- Shakespeare at work: lessons from the bard on emotional intelligence and communication.

2.  Hidden and Seen

HAMLET:  (to his mother the Queen) I shall in all my best obey you madam.

KING:  Why, ‘tis a loving and a fair reply.

Hamlet Act 1 scene 2

Hamlet is enraged with his mother, the Queen.  But neither his uncle, the new king, or his mother acknowledge his curt and petulant replies.  They both act as if Hamlet is content with the new realities -- a new king and royal marriage.  Are they clueless, or do they think their pretense will persuade Hamlet to accept the rapid changes? 

I’ve witnessed similar denial at the workplace.  Employees pay lip service to the new corporate directives but even a visitor like me can see their disdain.  If we ignore the tone of voice or facial expressions in a conversation we will likely miss the real message. 

HAMLET: But I have that within which passes show;

Hamlet Act 1 scene 2

Here Hamlet tells his mother that his grief is beyond what she can see.  His entire speech is a warning against judging outward appearances that can be faked.  Hamlet understands the difference between his inner truth and what he shows the world. To know our rage, fear, or sadness is one aspect of emotional intelligence.  To know how and when to express our truth is another part of EI. 

from the upcoming book  Shakespeare at work:  lessons from the bard on emotional intelligence and communication.

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