Public speaking + emotional intelligence = authenticity. Aligning our message.

I recently worked with “Sara” to help her with an upcoming interview.  Sara’s voice was monotone as she answered mock questions.  She was having a hard time thinking of examples of relevant experience and her stories were vague and bland.  We weren’t making much progress.

 

I asked Sara about what she loved doing in her spare time.  Suddenly her face lit up as talked about learning to code new online games.  After a few more questions Sara admitted that it was her mother that was urging her to pursue a health care career.  She confessed that it wasn’t what she wanted.

 

While this is a dramatic example, not being aligned with one’s message is a common issue.  In my live classes and coaching, I find a lack of alignment will create presentation nervousness, fuzzy ideas, and lackluster nonverbals. 

 

Whenever we talk with others, our audience will rapidly (and unconsciously) detect incongruence between our nonverbal behavior and our message.  (Actors spend years trying to overcome this natural phenomenon and even then they are not always “believable” to us.)

 

If we want to inspire, persuade, or motivate others, it is essential that we are truthful -- first with ourselves.  If there is part of our message that is not true for us, we need to grapple with that.  How to resolve and align our messages will require some digging into our thoughts, biases, and beliefs.  The good news is, if we have to (even partially) admit our discomfort, this will build trust with our audience.  Research confirms that it is always better to offer the truth than try to fake it.  

 

Do you have an important message to deliver but nervousness or lack of clarity is getting in your way?  I’d love to help.  My background in public speaking and emotional intelligence comes together in dynamic coaching.  Sometimes a single hour is enough to untangle inner discomforts (disbelief, shame, anger, fear, mistrust and other emotions or beliefs).  Once we understand what is driving our confusion, nervousness, and lack of enthusiasm (the lower part of the iceberg),  we can reframe our thoughts and message.   Our authentic communication will be powerful and persuasive. © 2020 Laura Lewis-Barr all rights reserved