At a recent workshop I gave my participants time to simply
listen to each other. The experiment was
for one person to talk about a concern while their partner listened intently but
didn’t say a word. The listener remained
silent for a long 4-5 minutes and then summarized what the speaker said. The speakers remarked that it felt “weird” to
talk without interruption for that long.
The listeners said that they had never sat that long without
interrupting. Some of the listeners
doubted the worth of such prolonged silence. However, when we reversed roles, these
listeners-turned-speakers realized the power of uninterrupted speaking. At the end of the 4 hour workshop, most
participants agreed that the simple “listen without interrupting” experiment
was the most important part of their day.
Many felt that the silence helped both the speaker and listener learn more
about the issue. Many vowed that they
would strive not to interrupt others at work and at home.
Ready to try this experiment? Set a goal of listening to someone speak for
5 minutes without interrupting. Make
sure to keep eye contact, nod and/or make sounds to show you are
listening. In some cases this may make
the speaker uncomfortable. We aren’t
used to receiving such rapt attention.
If necessary, summarize what the speaker has said to reassure them that you
are listening. After listening you may
find that you’ve discovered deeper insights into a problem, situation, or
another person.In addition to helping with creative problem solving, deep
listening develops empathy for others and helps build teams.
© 2013 Laura Lewis-Barr all rights reserved
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