Improve your listening, improve your life.

At a recent workshop I gave my participants time to simply listen to each other.  The experiment was for one person to talk about a concern while their partner listened intently but didn’t say a word.  The listener remained silent for a long 4-5 minutes and then summarized what the speaker said.  The speakers remarked that it felt “weird” to talk without interruption for that long.  The listeners said that they had never sat that long without interrupting.  Some of the listeners doubted the worth of such prolonged silence. However, when we reversed roles, these listeners-turned-speakers realized the power of uninterrupted speaking.  At the end of the 4 hour workshop, most participants agreed that the simple “listen without interrupting” experiment was the most important part of their day.  Many felt that the silence helped both the speaker and listener learn more about the issue.  Many vowed that they would strive not to interrupt others at work and at home. 

Ready to try this experiment?  Set a goal of listening to someone speak for 5 minutes without interrupting.  Make sure to keep eye contact, nod and/or make sounds to show you are listening.  In some cases this may make the speaker uncomfortable.  We aren’t used to receiving such rapt attention.  If necessary, summarize what the speaker has said to reassure them that you are listening.  After listening you may find that you’ve discovered deeper insights into a problem, situation, or another person.In addition to helping with creative problem solving, deep listening develops empathy for others and helps build teams. 

© 2013 Laura Lewis-Barr all rights reserved

How body habits affect the mind and emotions

I've been very interested in a field called "embodiment" which looks at how posture and other body habits affect the mind and emotions.  The info on this video may seem a little "woo woo" but it is based on science.  Finding ways to alter how/when/how often we use technology may be helpful in our daily lives.  An experiment:  on a day off, leave your technology at home and spend the day in nature.  Research says that this can help our minds and even immune systems.

Benefits of handling conflict well

Learning how to handle conflict well yields enormous benefits.  Here are some to consider:

When we bring up opposing ideas, we know that others will listen.

·         When we argue ideas everyone feels safe to be honest.

·         We find the best creative solutions to problems by examining opposing viewpoints.

·         We respect each other and are not troubled when we don’t agree. 

·         We are able to respectfully critique each other and hold each other accountable for stellar work.

·         We are more productive because there is less time wasted on grudges or gossip.

·         We have much better working relationships. 

·         We know and understand our colleagues better because we don’t shy away from difficult discussions. 

·         We enjoy our jobs more, and are able to challenge each other to do better work. 

·         Our teams are stronger.

© 2013 Laura Lewis-Barr all rights reserved

Got Changes at Work? New fun workshop.

I love offering materials designed by my friends at 6seconds.org. Bring this fun, interactive workshop to your next professional development day.

 

Managing Emotions to Drive Change

It is estimated that over 70% of change initiatives in organizations do not yield the results that are needed. There are many reasons for these failures; one key reason is the lack of preparation for and skill with the human-side of change. Great strategies fail when managers don’t create buy-in or execute the change in an emotionally intelligent way.

By the end of this workshop participants will: 

•         Become aware of the emotional side of change

•         Understand why change efforts typically fail

•         Learn the EQ Change Model and the Cycle of Resistance

•         Use the Six Seconds EQ Model to understand the emotional skills required

•         Integrate the key ideas by planning for an upcoming change

This workshop helps those leading change to consider the emotional dynamics of change. It introduces them to a powerful roadmap for considering the people-side of change, and helps them identify the key skills they need to develop and leverage in order to follow that map.

Every Emotion has a Purpose

Found this post from 5 years ago.  I had forgotten about this study....  Thought I should share it again for new readers.

Every Emotion has a Purpose is a basic tenet of Emotional Intelligence. I thought of this today when I heard about a study quoted on national news:
“Bad moods can actually be good for you, with an Australian study finding that being sad makes people less gullible, improves their ability to judge others and also boosts memory.”

Here’s another quote:
“…research suggests that sadness … promotes information processing strategies best suited to dealing with more demanding situations.”

Good to know that my moods can provide some benefits at work!

You can read the entire article here.

My article on Emotional Intelligence in the Daily Herald Business Ledger. Page 36

It's been a busy June, I've been happily traveling around the Midwest sharing fun workshops in Time Management, Communication Skills, Leadership, Emotional Intelligence and other "soft skill" topics.   As the economy improves, companies are adding more training for their greatest asset -- their staff.

I've been meaning to post this article on EI.  Thanks to Harper College and Erin Brooks for the interview.

You can download my article on Emotional Intelligence here.

Time Management manta: What's the Best Use of my Time Right Now?

When we know our priorities we then must "hang on" and fight the distractions that bombard us throughout the day.  Here, our little pup, Reggie, shows us how to do it.

© 2013 Laura Lewis-Barr all rights reserved

A teaching story from West Africa on empathy and tolerance.

On the first day of the week, the trickster God Eshu walked down a country road wearing a strange hat -- red on one side and  white on the other.  He walked between two friendly neighbors who were plowing their fields.   

At lunch the neighbors talked about the stranger who passed their farms. 

"What a fine white hat that man wore."

"White?  No my friend, the sun must have been in your eyes.  It was a brilliant red."

"Are you calling me a liar? It was white as the milk from my cows."

"Do you think I’m an idiot?  It was red as the blood I will draw from your nose!"

"White!"

"Red!"

"White!"

"Red!"

Their argument soon escalated into a vicious brawl.  The neighbors gathered to try to stop them but

both men screamed, insisting each was right and the other wrong.

Finally, Eshu the trickster returned.  He chastised them and showed them his hat.  How sad to lose their friendship in defense of the color of a hat! 

© 2013  Laura Lewis-Barr all rights reserved