Do you recognize any of these thoughts? These unproductive assumptions help create a negative cycle of poor communication, upsetting emotions, and erratic behaviors. Changing our thoughts can change our emotions and the disruptive actions they produce.
Here are some common thoughts that create passive-aggressive behavior traps.
* I must avoid an argument or conflict at all costs.
* I never "win'' in confrontation.
* There is no use opposing them, they are much more powerful.
* I must please people by telling them what they want to hear.
* It's bad to get angry.
* No one wants to know how I feel.
* My feelings are weird; I need to hide them--no one will understand.
* I'd rather back down right away to minimize the damage of a confrontation.
* It's more important for people to like me than hear the truth.
* It is better to deny my feelings than upset someone.
* If I lie, others will never know the truth.
© 2010 Laura Lewis-Barr all rights reserved